Progress – Solo Performance

‘This is about letting go. These are my balloons and I am leaving some things behind’ – Shannon Turnbull

May 17, 2013May 17, 2013 Shannon Turnbull

Audience feedback is important to me as from this I can observe their reactions, understand any confustion that may have arised and establish an overall feel on what they thought of my performance. There are things I would have liked to have done better on the day, however due to windy weather I do not feel this obstructed or effected my performance in any way, if anything I think my performance benefited.

Post-performance, I asked some audience members to send me comments on what they felt worked, what they felt didn’t, how they felt at different times, did they establish an emotional connection and if they think the props worked throughout?

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After reading these comments, I appreciated their honesty and involvment and felt proud that I had accomplished my intentions. I made some people cry, smile and laugh, sing and even dance. I attracted attention from both the B&L building, the library and passers-by, interested in what I was doing, stopping to record and join in. I’m glad I excelled out of my comfort zone because I wanted to truly understand what it means to perform solo. I have enjoyed understanding various practitioners techniques in vocal delivery, creations of atmopheric settings, their use of multi-media and their continous progression from the start to achieve an exciting end performance, this has helped me in understanding that you shouldn’t rush and go with your first idea.. it should be a continour journey, exploring different possibilities.

From Spalding Gray’s notion of ‘being in the moment’ and Laurie Anderson’s use of emotional stimulation through music (both of which influenced my performance greatly), Solo Performance has shown me a different, more thrilling side of theatre in which a ‘one-man-show’ can entertain as much as a full-cast broadway show! Sometimes more is less.. I have enjoyed the long process from the creation of an idea, initial knock-backs and the changing of ideas, the research behind practitioners, the research behind my own ideas with Bansky and quotations and finally the end performance which I hope benefited not only myself in the ability to actually let things go, start a fresh and say good-bye to Uni but also to my audience who I hope felt moved and empathy, towards my situation comparing it to theirs.

I leave this module behind with a quote (of course) that’s helped me in my time at Uni..

‘EVERYTHING IS OKAY IN THE END, IF IT’S NOT OKAY, THEN IT’S NOT THE END. NEVER A FAILURE, ALWAYS A LESSON’.

Life is the greatest show on earth!

May 17, 2013May 17, 2013 Shannon Turnbull

I performed The Little Girl and her Red Balloons on Wednesday the 15th May at 12 midday, on the University campus bridge to a crowd of around 30-35. I felt nervous, as anyone could imagine but I also felt excited. Excited at the fact I was performing outside wearing nothing but a dress, in such a public area. It was exhilarating to perform as Shannon but also as a Solo Performer, making the private, public knowledge. I wasn’t there to drone on about life/life quotes/sadness, I was there to perform aspects of my life in a reflective manner.

I trusted my narrative, however I enjoyed performing some improvised speech. Accommodating to my audience was something I felt I needed to do, to help them in understanding my intentions but to also include them. There were many people on the bridge who stopped, stared, joined in and recorded my performance and I appreicated the interest. At one point whilst I was shouting at the LPAC, releasing my frustration over essays, performances and dissertations, I asked.. WHO EVEN CARES ABOUT DISSERTATIONS? One audience member responded with.. I CARE! This was humourous and I appreciated that someone felt comfortable enough to join in! I had to improvise and respond as I didn’t want to dismiss it and pretend it didn’t happen. Anything could happen in a performance and I wanted to incorporate improvisations in to make it more truthful. My performance wasn’t static as my audience followed me around the bridge as I moved around the area. Sometimes I was close (in their faces) and at others times I distanced myself, depending on my narrative. “Distance is always central to involvement in small shows, as when the physical distance is, in actuality, close, a special bond can develop between solo performer and viewer” (Reid 1997, p.6). I hope this bond was established in my performance, both whilst I was close to them and distant.

Here are some photos of my performance taken by audience members – (click on them to enlarge):

There were some things that went wrong in my performance but I feel I coped with them well and had to improvise on the spot. I wanted to let each balloon off singularly however as it was extremely windy, the strings got tangled and produced a big knot. I overcame this by using the balloons as a bunch rather than as singular problems. This worked and actually gave a bigger impact when I let them go, this was when I was thankful for the wind!

I also wanted to give out my song sheets for 5ive – Keep on Movin’, however there were too many people and if I stood there and gave them all out, this would have detracted from my performance. Instead, I let the audience give them out but was glad most of them already knew the song, hence why I chose a popular 90’s classic!

Overall, I felt my performance went really well and I was thankful for the turnout and support I recieved off my audience. There were very interactive when asked, yet fell silent at the right times. I’m happy that I trusted my up & down personality and delievered my piece in the mood I felt at that particular time.

WORKS CITED:

Reid, Gilbert (1997) You’ll become part of me: Solo Performance, Canadian Theatre Review, Issue 92, pp:5-10.

‘A well thought-out story doesn’t need to resemble real life. Life itself tries with all its might to resemble a well-crafted story’ – Issac Babel

May 14, 2013May 17, 2013 Shannon Turnbull

The narrative of my performance came at a late stage. I knew what I wanted to say but I found it challenging to just sit there.. and write. I felt forced and I kept worrying about being too superficial and unnatural. I wanted my narrative to come from the heart, not constructed through pressure. Myself and some other Solo Performers met up discussed, helped and supported each others ideas and narratives which helped me immensely. To initiate the construction of my narrative, I gave my audience 3 motifs surrounding my performance: Hope/Aspirations, Letting go and Memories. From this I asked them to ask me questions about my life, what I feel, who I am and what I believe, this would be used to foreground my narrative and start the process of writing as it was to be recorded. Below are things I took from this recording in hope of catching something.

The first question I was asked threw me in at the deep end.. what is your biggest regret? Wow.. I didn’t know how to answer this one. I just sat there thinking silently. It was then when I appreciated silence because everyone was thinking, everyone was thinking different things and I wanted to elongate this a little bit more – strange I know, but this felt like an experiment for me. I answered..

My biggest regret is not something I have physically done, my biggest regret is something that is emotional and sometimes uncontrollable. It’s a part of my personality that sometimes I really don’t want. When something goes wrong or something bad happens, it’s the part of my personality that influences my reaction. I always want to please people and want to be liked.. I have a very up and down personality and this gives me advantages, however various disadvantages! But I feel that I have emotionally matured and that definitely comes with age.

How old do you think you’ll be when you think you’ll be happy?

I feel life is a blessing and ideally I would like to be 100% happy now. When you’re young, you have no responsibilities, you look better physically, you can do what you want. However on a more practical level, life gets better in your 40’s.. you have many life experiences that have taught you well and I think that even though ideally being ‘young’ is seen as better, it’s not until you have grown up that you really begin to understand who you are and what life is.

What was the best moment in your life?

There have been many but I would probably say the day when I saw Eminem live at V Festival in 2011. I was in a moment when I didn’t care what I had done before and I wasn’t thinking about what I was going to do after. I existed in only that moment and it was beautiful.. I was so bloody excited, I couldn’t stop crying the day before!

What was the worst moment in your life?

I don’t know, I don’t know if I could possibly list them all.. one time that sticks with me is, my dad nearly died 3 years ago. I was lied to for my own good and was told that he was in hospital for a routine check-up. I carried on with my life and went bra shopping one day with my mum and sister.. whilst I was in Debenhams, I received a call from my stepmum claiming that if my dad dies, it will be my fault as I’m out not caring. It was at this point I was told the truth, that my dad was seriously unwell and could possibly die. I was upset but understood that as there was nothing I could do about it, both my mum and dad had decided to keep it from me.. however, my step-mum decided to scream abuse and let me know that she was slitting her wrists on the phone whilst having this conversation. I have seen her do it before so I knew she was telling the truth. I didn’t know how to react, all I could think about was finding a bra as I DEFINITELY needed a bigger size! How absurd? I guess you can’t run away from the absurd. Life if absurd. I just kept thinking ‘all I need is my bra, not this!’ It was very surreal and it stayed with me for a long time as when my dad had got better, he didn’t believe me when I told him we had had that conversation. It upset me and I eventually fell out with him! To this day, he doesn’t ever want to discuss it..

It seems that in every serious event in your life, you find the positives and there’s always a funny thing that happens to you in the midst of chaos. Is there anything that you can incorporate this absurdity into your performance?

I don’t necessarily want my whole performance to be ‘absurd’ as that term is pretty ambiguous, however I want to use these hilarious moment in my life and drop them in to my narrative. You can spend your whole life regretting things and trying to change the way you react however, sometimes your initial reaction is the most natural reaction. It seems I have nice intentions but I have a mundane facade which I could use to fuel elements in my performance. Referring to life quotes, being negative and nostalgic will create a sad atmosphere however finding the funny parts in the narrative such as my bra mission, bra size, possibly singing one of my favourite songs will juxtapose the negative comments and create a happy and content atmosphere. I need to let go of somethings, so I guess I’m like Spalding Gray and need a cathartic release from some shit that has happened! Some audience members may feel it too, that’s what I like; the fact I won’t know as it’s so personal.

Will you miss Uni?

Wow, how cliché is this going to sound? Haha.. ‘I found myself here’. I literally have had the most amazing three years of my life and I don’t for one second regretting moving away and coming here! I get angry at the LPAC sometimes for the constant essays, deadlines, performances, feeback, DISSERTATION, meetings etc.. that we have to continuously do, but hey that IS what Uni is about! We pay for this so it is in our best interest to go to everything.. definitely sound like my mother, haha! I feel like when I leave Lincoln, I’m going to be leaving a little bit of me behind. I hope some lectures still refer to me, big headed I know but I have really enjoyed my time here. I’m going to miss the stability. I know I need to grow up and move on but when will I know when I am mature enough to move on? I’m going to be a big baby when I bloody leave! I feel like I’ll be leaving the bloody earth.

This conversation lasted around 45 minutes and after listening to it back, I wrote down significant things that were said and found a muse to writing my narrative. It will have to be re-worked but I feel that my emotion will dictate some of what I say on the day too. Everything depends on the weather, my audience and my emotions.

‘I can take any empty space and call it a bare stage. A man walks across the empty space whilst someone else is watching him, and this is all that is needed for an act of theatre to be engaged’ – Peter Brook

May 12, 2013May 14, 2013 Shannon Turnbull

My Performance Space.

After exploring bridges in Lincoln City centre, I am 100% set on using the University campus bridge as my location of performance. Here are some pictures I have taken of my performance space to initially show proximity. All sides are documented. (facing LPAC, water, cathedral, Business & Law building, etc).

Taken with back to LPAC. The performance space is exceptionally wide which will help include audience members and allow me to freely move.

This image was captured in the place I lay in a partof my performance. I have captured my eyeline and this is what I will see.

This picture captures the width of the bridge from one side to another.

This is where I will be when I shout at the LPAC and start my performance. It shows how long the bridge is and how far away the LPAC is, therefore vocal projection is important.

This image captures one side of the bridge (otherwise known as the positive side) In the distance the cathedral is visible and creates a picturesque backdrop.

WORKS CITED:

Pictures are all taken from my iPhone on 11/05/13. Copyrighted to Shannon Turnbull.

‘Keep all special thoughts and memories for lifetimes to come. Share these keepsakes with others to inspire hope and build from the past, which can bridge to the future’ – Mattie Stepanek

May 12, 2013May 14, 2013 Shannon Turnbull

My performance is site specific in which I am performing on a bridge relevant to the subtext of my performance. This bridge is the main University campus bridge and is used every single day by not only students, lecturers and working people of the University, but also locals of Lincoln travelling to enjoy comedy at the LPAC or drinks at the Tower Bar, etc. I chose this space because it is symbolic, it helps people reach one destination from the other. We trust that it will not fall and collapse and we never stop think how important they are. Bridges are symbolic in the emotional aspects of our lives also often being quoted in ways that express anger, hope, desperation and moving on.

“Build a bridge and get the f**** over it”

“I hope we can move on and build bridges between us”

“I’m done. I’ve burnt my bridges with you”

“Bridge over troubled water”

I decided to have a look at different types of bridges around Lincoln, see what they do for people on a practical level and explore other potential space. I know my performance will be taking place on a specific bridge however I would like to explore and see if there is a better space for me to perform on. “Autobiographical performances that are site specific, double the dynamic of the real subject/performed character with the audience embodied experience of a particular geography that is likewise both real and performed” (Stephenson 2010, p.336).

These bridges are all architecturally individual in both appearance and construction, however Uni campus bridge fits best with regards to space, audience, location and duration of piece. I have received permission off the University’s Student Union and Health and Safety manager (Garry and Colin) to purchase some glass pens/chinographic pencils and write on the glass panels of the bridge. The writing will consist of life quotes, sprawled along, not in linear order or pretty pattern. I want to do this because it creates a striking image and symbolically represents our ‘bridge of life’ consisting of literal life quotes scrawled upon it. I will interact only slightly with the writing by smearing my hand across them in disgust, but I hope that the audience see’s my intentions. The life quotes follow you through your journey over a bridge, leaving one thing in search of another. What I find ironic about my choice of structure and narrative is, I live by life quotes. I like to live my life referring to them and will also cite them when talking or giving guidance to my friends. I am going to enjoy the fact that I turn them on their head and think negatively about them, I don’t want quotes to become a sort of religious bible people have to abide by where they preach to others in my performance, I want to show that those positive quotes can become negative and that major life events can influence your decision to believe in them. However, this is how I live my life and this distinguishes the difference between myself and ‘Shannon the performer’. I appreciate that Solo Performance allows such a dynamic and ambigous narrative of events.

WORKS CITED:

Stephenson, Jenn (2010) ‘Review of Deidre Heddon ‘Autobiography and Performance’ in Theatre Survey, Vol 51, pp:335-337.